ONLINE DATING WITH RUSSIAN WOMAN.

by Mark Dykstra.

ONLINE DATING WITH RUSSIAN WOMAN.

Now that i have your attention guys, i can now get down to the business of sharing a little from my past experience of selecting a potential Russian Lady to be a life long lover and partner. However i do stress there are no guarantees, and yet what i can bring to the table is some pointers that will help you improve your odds of being successful and in making the right choice. What i am about to say is first hand knowledge of my successes and failures in making the right decisions.

So, having picked your Russian Beauty Queen from a typical website russianbeauty.com you think you have it in the bag and there is a serious relationship developing and now you think its time to pick up the phone after 6 months of writing love letters, and dial her number in St Petersburg, and as you wait your mind races, .."oh my God what am i going to say"? She answers "Previet David, how sweet of you to call me" You sit bolt upright with clenched fist and eyes raging and hair on end, and say.."Hi Irina, my name is Mark, how are you.?" She replies in stunned surprise "OH my honey !, i knew it was you, my Mark, how could i have got your name wrong, my honey !". Now to some of us, we would say "yeah right"! But to men who really are serious and want to think that a Russian Lady who you are so committed too, by sending her presents, and money to help her financially keep up with her Internet Cafe payments, wouldn't dear dream that my sweet honey Irina was writing to someone else, not to mention having a relationship with someone else, would they? Thats right you have answered your own subconscious question, "would they" ?

Rule number one. Never assume that your sweet darling Irina is only writing to you. Despite the beauty and smooth talking language you hear in broken English on the phone that you are at this point hers and hers alone. Life in the former soviet union is never a simple and straightforward culture and what many Russian woman have to endure in the poor and rundown conditions the further east you go in Russia, the more hardened woman are to the rugged way of life they have been brought up in. Trust me, i know, having lived in Russia for nearly 6 months.

Rule number two. The more beautiful your sweet darling Irina is, the more likely she has had a rather colorful relationship background. Not in all cases but i would say most. Never assume your sweet Irina is the truthful, honest, faithful, domesticated, and hard working and loving person that she claims she is when you have drooled over her Internet profile and pictures 1000 times.

Rule number three. If your sweet honey Irina asks you for money to pay for her trip and visa to come and see you, run away, and stay away. This is a classic "gold digger". Red flag number one. She isn't interested in you, our darling Irina is only interested in your money. Be very careful on this one.

Rule number four. In your writings to your adorable Irina, make absolutely sure you say you want to come and meet her in her country and city. Don't be shy about this. The answer you get will determine whether she is serious about you or not. If Irina is serious at this point i might add she will agree and make provision for you, and you will see that she will be proactive in her welcoming you to Russia. If she ignores this question don't worry. Thats not such a bad thing either. She may be feeling that its a bit soon to be thinking of such things, so wait a bit later and drop the suggestion again. If still no answer drop her. Simple. Shes not interested in you.

Rule number five. It is essential that when a Internet relationship develops to the point where you both want to be together, and our Irina insists that she wants to come and meet you in your country and demands money and visa from you, because she has a special friend who is a Travel Agent who can help her, thats red flag number two. Our Irina will say, "but darling , i want to see your parents and live in your house, and i want to hold you and kiss you. There's nothing in Russia here for you, my darling. OH my honey how i miss you." Irina our darling, is our "gold digger". Drop her IMMEDIATELY. Now if our gorgeous Irina wants you to come, it is essential for a successful liaison that you go and visit her in her country. By doing so means you are taking an interest in meeting her family, learning the Russian Language so you can communicate and take an interest in her culture. Be prepared to spend money while you are in Russia and stay there for as long as you can so you are able to meet her friends, and you will be able to gauge as to whether the relationship will last.

Rule number six. Never give out details about what you have. IE Money, Investments, property etc. This is important for one thing only. This will tell you whether our darling Irina is interested in you as a person or not. Never disclose your assets. Its not the house you want to see her marry, but you.

Rule Number seven. If things have got serious between you and Irina and you want to take things further and you are serious about your relationship with Irina, then learn her language. Cross culture relationships are difficult as they are let alone not knowing or having an understanding of the Russian language, and this means writing it too. So sign yourself up at your local high school or evening classes at Polytech in Russian and take an interest in her language. This also tells her that you mean business in your relationship and she will appreciate this if she is straight down the line.

Rule Number eight. When writing to her ask for photos of her and her family. IE her mother and father if she has any. If she says she hasn't got any mother or father and says she is orphaned, find out where she was orphaned. You could ask her for photos of her grandma or grandfather. This too would validate your curiosity, and put some genuineness in your on line relationship.

Rule Number Nine. If our Irina wants to engage in sexual conversation after 6-8 letters or sooner, then be very careful. This is our 3rd red flag. The reason being that once she has got to this level of conversation without having a thorough knowledge of who you are then it is most likely that she is after sex and not a relationship. Remember, think with the right head.

Rule Number Ten. Seek out Russian friends in your own country. You will only need 1-2 good ones who have lived in Russia and become friendly with them. Its their advice that you will find invaluable, and you will be able to practice your Russian Language with. By doing this you are entering in a world of cultural information and will learn many good things about Russian life.

Rule Number eleven. It is a really good idea that if you are going all the way to Moscow to meet Irina at the airport, that you have a back up plan, in case she simply doesn't turn up. Its happened before and will happen again. So it is my suggestion that you prepare to meet several girls that you have met on the Internet as friends and plan to go and meet them. If you have Russian friends in your country and they live in Moscow or any other place in the Russian Federation, have a plan to meet them should your primary plan go awry.

Rule number twelve. So you are in Russian and things with Irina are going well. Your relationship is strong and you are falling head over heels together in love, and you have met her parents and had pancakes and pelmeny for lunch, and your urge is to go and get married to her. DON'T. There are two things you can do. Prior to coming to Russia to meet Irina arrange an option to work there, by teaching English. You don't need TESOL qualifications although thats preferable but rather if you have a college degree or University qualification thats enough to have you employed in a foreign language school. This means you can spend more time in Russia with Irina so you get to know her longer and that you make sure everything is where it should be. Second, go home, without her, with the intention of coming back. This will be hard, but if you are to find out if your darling Irina is for real, then this will separate the "chaff from the wheat". If she wants you back and you give another 3-6 months more down line and you have paced yourself to the point where you feel you cant live without her, then she s yours for keeps. Its then that you can start talking about your future options